I don't know how much of lost I've missed out on commenting on because i was too busy trying not to die alone (and failing). I will go back TWO WEEKS for my own sake and plank, if that is not enough, let me know.

( here comes kate to ruin everything ever )

I am kind of too down and tired to say much about lost. I like that criminal, "blue collar" sawyer is THINKIN while jack is REACTIN. good episode, what the fuck is with the ages of certain OTHERS, it is way unbelievable. juliet apparently reminds ben of JULIET, weird that he doesn't notice she has the same NAME as well as face.

supernatural was one of the best episodes so far. so much pain and they are really stepping up the tension and making me believe the apocalypse is coming. I LOVE YOU, DEANCHESTER

yep

the night of nik's birthday party out in milford, I had parked behind one of jason and sarah's hippie house neighbors and came back to find my hood dented and no note explaining or apologizing or any such shit. It was quite obvious that it was the PATHFINDER that I parked behind, they left a perfectly square dent where their ugly spare tire/bike rack crushed my hood. they had already returned by the time I went out to my car, so I felt around on the bike rack and found paint flakes from my car on it. I had planned on spray painting "car"ma on their vehicle but I wanted to wait a few months so that they wouldn't automatically assume it was me.

this weekend I had taken home a banana from work so that it wouldn't spoil on my desk. it ended up spoiling in my purse because I forgot about it. as I was leaving jason and sarah's place I found the banana, and planned on just chucking it in the street out of laziness. I saw that the pathfinder was parked right across from my car, though, and found a better purpose for the banana. I peeled it as I crossed the street and then jammed it under their door handle. hooray! the banana was already mostly black inside, so unless they smelled their hand they probably didn't know what the nastiness was that they found.

sunday as I was leaving jason and sarah's place again I saw the bitch that owns the pathfinder getting into it and she gave me a look. she can't really do anything though, because she would be admitting to damaging my car and not taking responsibility for it, even if she thinks she knows who banana-ed her car.

apparently no one wants to know the five words I associate with them, which is fine, because i'm sure they wouldn't want to have to explain the word BUTTHOLE five times on livejournal. HMPH.

( and more proof that kate is a turd wrapped in a whore smothered in bitch sauce )

WORD ASSOCIATION MEME: You reply. I give you five things I associate with you. In return, you post and explain those things and the whole ugly cycle continues.


from auntiec:

1. Snake: This is a nickname that Jason, auntie's husband in case you don't know, decided to give me once when I was talking to him on the phone and I liked it, so it stuck. He tried to change it once to "T-Bone" but I was having none of that. Note: Jason does not actually ever refer to me as snake any more.

2. Gary Hamtrangler and the Tranglin' Five: TWO PART THING! Gary Hamtrangler was a name I came up with in response to a trivial pursuit question that was probably not even directed at me. He promptly gained a backstory in order to fit into the F. Nutz Wilson (another made up person) pantheon of mythical characters and shady used car salesmen. Then, when sarah and I were going to start our own rock band rock band, she suggested GH and the tranglin' five as the name, which had to many characters but it's still awesome.

3. Deanchester: for some reason, probably DIXLYXIA, I kept calling dean winchester, from supernatural, DEANCHESTER in my head, until it slipped out and now the whole family has lost the space in between their first and last names: SAMCHESTER, DADCHESTER, MOMCHESTER, etc.

4. Fred Durst Lookalike: in D&D, I play a ROGUE ELF named BUFORD LONGFEATHER. I drew a picture of him and jason said it looked like FRED DURST WITH PINKEYE. no one ever shuts up about this EVER.

5. MAKE A SQUARE: i was watching sarah play lumines and i think I was probably high but I wanted to be encouraging, so I yelled DO IT RIGHT and then MAKE A SQUARE. now we say that during any game, be it FALLOUT 3, puzzle quest, streetfighter 4, YOU NAME IT.

sup

DOUBLE THEME! LADIES I WOULD GO GAY FOR! MEN WHO ARE CURRENTLY DEAD!



OF COURSE my number one is BECKI NEWTON who is hilarious and I would do her up one side and down the other



birthday soulmate KRISTIN BELL! she is tiny and hot! see her in a bikini in forgetting sarah marshall! you'll lose your shit.



ALICIA KEYS as an ASSASSIN in SMOKIN ACES. I don't think she looks this awesome all the time.



hello SIR HOT ASS LAURENCE OLIVIER



apparently I have a type in this category says GARY COOPER



never really impressed by him as an actor (cool hand luke the exception) but i sure would have done goddamn PAUL NEWMAN


that is all i have time for, CONTRIBUTE YOUR OWN, WON'T YOU?

-Describe me in one word--just one single word. Positive or negative.

-Leave your word in a comment, before looking at what words others have used.

-Copy and paste the meme to your journal to find out how people describe you when limited to one word.

( why bother cutting? IT HELPS ME FEEL )

what am I up to? I am doing emails at work because they are behind. this means not taking incoming calls at all, and I'm back in a big boy desk with high walls. temporarily. I hate my upstairs neighbor because last sunday i used his dryer ONCE because mine smelled like BURNING and my clothes were wet and I didn't want to burn down the house. he heard the buzzer go off WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING (he works nights) and hauled ass down there to investigate. I say what is up he says is there something wrong with YOUR dryer so i said what happened and he doesnt respond, just starts walking away all pissy so i go ARE YOU OK and he doesnt respond to that. wednesday is trash day, he always brings in all the cans, he did not bring in my cans. cut to sunday, he has used my washing machine. I yell in the hallway: YOU CAN STOP ACTING LIKE SUCH A BITCH NOW.

my ex best friend emailed me. I sent a brief response. I dont know what to say to someone I havent talked to in over a decade.

I would rather listen to dick enlargement commercials than dane cook's alleged comedy stylings on my satellite radio.

Hey guess what my car is in the shop and getting it fixed will cost just slightly more than my tax return which I was going to use towards my debt isn't that so fucking awesome????????

The fact that I am apparently the only person in AMERICA who gets $300 less this year due to the stimulus makes this SO MUCH MORE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. grease fire in oven, reheating pizza, things that have dripped down to the floor of the oven in the past (pizza related) caught on fire. threw baking soda on it, stupidly hit the top of my hand on the opening. the burn didn't hurt that much but it looks terrible.

2. I sleep on a heating pad. trying to turn it on, the control breaks off in my hand and sparks shoot out of the cord onto the floor. Had to go into the basement and flip the breaker.

Got through probation days at work but now am having issues keeping my shit together. probably still under SECRET observation.

I have. anyone who told me I was mistaken when I helpfully pointed out that your economic stimulus check was an interest free "loan" on your next year's tax return can SUCK IT. did you notice your tax return being exactly $300 or $600 less than it should have been? There should have been a way to opt out of that bullshit because I need the money more now than I did six months ago. you should also listen to me when I talk; I don't just make this shit up.

and arizona which reminds me that i recently had a dream where i went to the grand canyon and it was just a really big ditch and I was NOT IMPRESSED.

the best part of piehole is when you can tell someone is completely crazy before they even start singing.

who I hate so far:

bikini bitch
dude whose wife had died and he faked cried about it to get attention

who I like so far:

roughneck dude
similar style but not as interesting welder dude
nerdy kid who skipped his spanish test
indian nerd
mutt and jeff black girl sisters who rapped even though the big one didn't make it
crazy dennis who had a dream about simon (very very very very very good)


for the most part no one sounds even remotely interesting. is it to much to ask for an interesting singer that doesn't add a bunch of bullshit hoodlin and doodlin? eeeeeeuhhhheeeeehhhhooooooooo!!!! SOULFUL!!!
it was cool that jason castro's brother made it even though he hasn't been singing for a month, but he looks like a complete gayfer and I hate his hair.
annnnnnnnnnnnnd i like the new girl, she's ok. doesn't get a chance to say much but at least it's not insane.

I miss kansas city, I drove past those fucking shuttlecocks every day on my way to school. xoxoxoxoxoxo kc but I will not be returning to your bosom any time soon (permanently, anyway) kuppernucky has won my heart even though i have a terrible job and no man and in the summer, the centipedes come.

Have been reading a lot lately though most of it is not what you would call "LITERATURE."

1. The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz: The only actual literature i've read recently, pulitzer winner for fiction, full of footnotes, pop culture references, superstition and violence. the titular character, oscar, is hard to like, he's an obnoxious nerd of the type we all know: socially awkward, pretentious, overbearing, mostly friendless. he's also dominican, so he doesn't fit in well with regular nerds either, and his culture finds him particularly baffling. lots of interesting stuff in the book about el jefe and his dictatorship, references to other real people, oscar's family and the curse they think is on them. I read this in a couple of days, so it's not too involved if you think you are too busy to read.

2. The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher: I have read three books in this series so far. The second one, about werewolves, wasn't all that great, but the first really pulled me into this universe where magic, dragons, vampires, fairies, demons, etc really exist. the stories are a combination of fantasy and detective fiction, and butcher writes about magic in such a matter of fact way that it makes sense and seems real. The third book was pretty much all action from page one, which is ok with me occasionally. Butcher occasionally hints at Dresden's past (his mom was apparently some sort of wizard too but died when he was born) but so far I haven't gotten to a book where he goes into any great detail about it. I am really looking forward to it though, he has set it up nicely.

3. Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris: this is the first sookie stackhouse vampire novel. I am really surprised at how closely the show (true blood) follows the book, aside from fleshing out some characters and adding others. other than that, I wasn't really too interested in this.

TELEVISION

1. caught up on some bones lately, which hasn't been good since they found out that zach was the new apprentice (omg angela is gay now, please watch in case she makes out with some other girl), and realized that jesus christ emily douchenel and no-longer-fat boreanaz have big egos. They are billed on the same screen, with one on top to the left, and one on the bottom to the right, PERFECTLY EQUAL so as not to CAUSE PROBLEMS, and they are both credited as "co producers" which probably means FUCK ALL. I can see mr. angel thinking he is hot shit, i mean, he was ANGEL. buffy is huge in some circles to this day. but deschanel? what has she done besides bones? had a somewhat notable cinematographer dad and ten million times more famous sister, is all.

2. I really like HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER and last night I had a dream where I tried to make neil patrick harris go straight and i never ever ever in my wildest doogie houser themed dreams would have thought I might be wanting to do that guy. I hope barney and robin end up together, even though I hate robin.

3. I love phillip glenister, but DEMONS is terrible. it's for kids, apparently. kids that don't give a shit.

4. the only thing I download and then watch immediately is THE MENTALIST and LIFE. I hate everything else right now.

5. I didn't know piehole started until yesterday, still haven't watched it yet.



in other news, I have STRESS and it made me think I was having HEART PROBLEMS. hooray!